God DOES Work in Mysterious Ways

OK, so yesterday I felt like crap. I was mad at my kids, my husband, the dog, basically any one who had ever done anything to me or had ever said anything stupid in my presence. Gee...I think that's everyone. Well, as usual the real person that needed a good talking to was...umm...me. Not that I didn't have a justifiable reason to be mad, but the way I deal with that anger was my real issue. I tend to crawl inward, retreat to my inner self. After all, that's the only person who can really help, right? I mean, honestly, I am the best at commiserating with myself, I don't even have to tell myself what is bothering me, I can read my mind. In case you can't tell, that was laced with scarcaism.

So, after a good 18 hours or so of being just delightful to be around we made our way to Morgantown. Chestnut Ridge Church to be exact. Our really good friends Chris and Rebecca had asked us a few days ago to go with them to something called Kidz Blitz. It sounded like fun, think Nickelodeon's Slime Time Live, but with a biblical message. To be honest the last thing I wanted to do was to head north. I wanted to stay home, by myself, and be mad. But, I went anyway. The drive up consisted of my husband and I trying to make conversation so we could get over being really irritated with each other. And believe it or not the kids were actually good in the car, they usually bicker all the way to our destination.
We pulled into the driveway of this enormous building. Cameron said, "Is this a church? It looks like a school." And it does, one day when I figure out how to create link, I will link you to Chestnut Ridge Church in Morgantown West Virginia. We parked, walked in and immediately saw someone we knew. Dawn, a girl we met in college. She and her husband have divorced, since getting married in college. They have three kids, including a set of twin boys. We talked just for a moment then headed in. The inside of the church felt like a friendly coliseum. They even had a concession area. You could buy drinks, candy,popcorn, even coffee. And not just regular coffee, but the really good iced flavored stuff. And get this, you can take it into church! The seats were like movie theatre seats, all cushy and with drink holders. I believe this is West Virginia's version of Mega Church, not that I have ever attended a Mega Church, so I am only guessing.

The kids were really excited. The stage looked great, all kinds of balloons, balls, flashy lights, harnesses hanging from scaffolding; you get the picture. Once the show started the kids were literally jumping out of their seats, the host was choosing volunteers from the audience. Try as they might, none of the 5 kids in our party were chosen to go on stage to play some kind of crazy game that usually included goggles for safety. One of the most notable games required the child to put their entire body into a stretchy, very dark inside, bag and put on t-shirt. Once the shirt was on they could get out of the bag, run to the middle of the stage, stick their hand into a bucket of "gator snot" and find a whistle. The whistle had to be blown, which does not sound that difficult, but keep in mind that it was submerged in a bucket of slime. After the kid got the whistle to blow they had to run to the other side of the stage, stand in a hoola-hoop, pick up a spray bottle and squirt it towards the middle of the stage where there was a rubber chicken hanging from a long piece of toilet paper. The idea was to spray the tp with enough water to to get the chicken to fall. Oh yeah, there was a bone in there somewhere, but I forget where. All of this had to be done in less that 1 minute. Needless to say, none or the kids got it, although one came pretty close. I am pretty sure that if either one of the boys in our group had been chosen, the story would have ended differently.

Well back to the part where I said that none of the kids in our party were chosen, that is true. The kids were not, but I was. Thank you very much to my husband who, by the way, swears he was trying to volunteer Rebecca. Apparently the host asked the men to volunteer their wives, I was unaware, I was talking, to Rebecca I think. So why was my husband trying to volunteer Rebecca you ask? She is not his wife? GOOD question. Chris apparently was smart enough to not even think about sending his dear sweet wife up onto a stage that so far had been host to blindfolds, jump ropes and scuba flippers.

Well remember I said God works in mysterious ways? Somehow the host saw through all of the pointing to Rebecca and chose me, thank you very much. Much laughing and cheering ensued. But I am a good sport, for the most part, so off I went up onto stage not at all sure what I was in for. I stood on stage awaiting my fate. I was asked about my family, husband and children. Donnie, the host says, "Well this is a family show so let's have the rest of the family come up too." This was really a joke on the men for volunteering their wives. The dads had to sit on a bean bag in front of the moms, cover their eyes with goggles and hold a water balloon on their heads. This was when I was really glad that I had been chosen. Tee Hee! The balloons got a nice layer of shaving cream, really sounding good now huh? Now the best part, while the moms held the balloon on the dad's head the children, yes, our 3 angels got to shave the cream off the balloon with a razor. This was when I thought how glad I was that I had made them take baths before we left. Here we were, all on stage, in front of a rather large crowd. Cameron looking all spiffy in his khaki shorts and golf shirt. Megan with her lovely sun dress, her hair all silky and tangle free. And Avery...adorable strawberry blond pig tails, cleanish summer dress and her bug boots! Red lady bug rain boots that we bought at Target a couple summers ago on clearance. Oh yeah, and a binky in her mouth. Didn't we look great.

After a brief safety talk, the timer began and my son was let loose with a sharp "cutter", to quote him, doing his best to clear the balloon of all traces of shaving cream. Now even though Donnie had given Cameron instructions on shaving, "rub really, really hard back and forth with the razor, that's the best way to do it." the balloon did not pop. The poor dad on the other team was not so lucky, or his kids just did too good of a job "shaving", because his balloon exploded all over him, his wife, the kids and some of the audience. So we were going to win by default anyway. After we were announced winners, our team leader reached over to slyly pop the balloon still balanced on my hubby's head. No luck, just a small pin prick. Not wanting to let our kids or the crowd down I finished it off for him. Tee Hee again!

We all got a really good laugh as well as a second bath. My husband said last night that this would be something that our kids remember forever and I agree. And if they don't, that friend I mentioned, Dawn, she took pictures!

So that's my story. Never in a million years would I have imagined that God would get my family to church, on a stage, wearing goggles and holding shaving cream covered water balloons. Having the children wield razors and water flying everywhere all so we could forget that we were irritated with each other. We had a much better evening last night than the one before and tonight will be even better.

God is good, All the time!